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Is it just me, or are there some fundamental problems with strict monogamy? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not by any means saying we should bed every person we meet, or swap partners with all of our coupled friends - just that strict monogamy seems to do more damage than good.
Monogamy carries with it:
an unhealthy obsession with having one person to meet the majority of our needs,
a condemnation to a lack of sexual fulfillment if a person’s partner can’t perform adequately or loses their ability to do so,
a lack of variety in sexual partners possibly resulting in lost sex drive over time, and
it makes life after the first person passes away incredibly difficult for the remaining partner.
On a greater level, it condemns a possibly great new gene to extinction if the person that carries it couples with someone who has a terminal genetic issue, and it reduces the speed at which evolution occurs as there are less genetic combinations being formed... and that is just off the top of my head!
Given this pretty ugly overview of monogamy, the question then becomes why it is that just about everyone is doing it?
The first thought that comes to mind has to be tradition - but without logical reasoning, tradition does not mean much. We have many traditions due to the mental conditioning of people; an example is the stoning of people in some parts of the world who would dare insult "God" by working on the Sabbath.
The second thought has more to do with biology, together with length of infancy and development for our species. Although very few species mate for life, there are many species that mate for the duration in which their offspring are developing only, if even that. Since we take a while to "grow up" or develop, a child with more then one parent has a better chance of surviving to its own propagation than a child with only one. But the same argument is stronger for open relationships if we were to embrace each other more freely as a "herd".
The third thought is love and wanting to be together. Although love is truly a beautiful thing that most (if not all) of us could use more of, let’s discuss for a moment what type of love it is that we are experiencing in most relationships... Is it love of thy partner, or love of thy self?
Here’s an easy question to figure that one out. Let's say you are with someone who makes you happier than anyone else you’ve ever been with. After some time, you call the feeling towards them love. Some time later you meet someone of your gender that you know 100% for sure would make a better monogamous mate for your partner than you. You have the ability to introduce them, so that the person you love could find higher levels of happiness… or do you not hook them up so that you can continue getting what you want?
Since very few of the people I have polled have answered that they would sacrifice themselves, I would go so far as to say that true love is very different from this selfish concoction that most think it is!
With the exception of the very valid concern about STD transmission, the only real challenges to 'Open Relationships' are people's internal demons (greed and jealousy), and recreating the social infrastructure so that we are not so easily divided and conquered. It seems pretty simple to me that this is the way we should be going, but obviously it's a lot easier said then done; but man can move mountains, even if its one stone at a time.
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Adrenaline, intense attraction, or the things they know how to do in bed; what is it about a sexual encounter that makes it so great? A group of researchers set out to answer this question and have recently released their findings in an innovative study published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality (CJHS) entitled "The Components of Optimal Sexuality: A Portrait of 'Great Sex". They focused their attention on identifying specific characteristics that comprise ‘great sex’. The investigation was conducted in the hopes of debunking sexual myths, and to offer an broader view based on a spectrum of sexuality. The outcome of such work offers a new way for people to view "human erotic potential and expand our understanding of what sex can be".
An Introduction to the Study
The data was accumulated from the answers collected in detailed interviews, which lasted anywhere between forty five minutes to two hours. The focal point of the questions was to learn more about optimal sexuality by learning about respondents' best sexual experiences, then tabulating their responses to come up with the most common factors. The study based their findings on a total of sixty four participants, encompassing a diverse sampling of population. Those interviewed were men and women, diverse in age range, ethnic origin and sexual orientation; some also identified themselves as polyamorous, practitioners of S&M, as well as Sex Therapists. Participants' ages ranged from twenty three to eight two years of age.
What Comprises Optimal Sex?
Sex is subjective. Many of the participants of the study put it this way, "no one can simply define 'great sex' for others". Yet their responses revealed a great deal of commonality, despite differences in lifestyles, ages and Sexual Orientation. Ultimately, the study illustrated that "there may be many routes to experience great sex, but the actual experience can be very similar across varying individuals".
Ten key components of phenomenal sexual experiences were identified during the course of research. Eight were deemed significant because they came up most often and were greatly emphasized by almost all respondents. The last two were characterized as insufficient in themselves to be necessary aspects of great sex, but were still considered by researchers as worthy of mention in the study.
1. Being present, focused and embodied
The state of feeling "totally absorbed in the moment", of being completely in tune with the sensations being experienced during great sex, was stated by interviewees most often and ahead of any other characteristic of an ideal sexual experience.
Another distinguishing aspect was the ability of respondents and their sexual partners to completely let themselves go during sex. They were unimpeded by distractions such as the mental ‘running commentary’ that many people have trouble shutting off.
2. Connection, alignment, merger, being in synch
Many of the respondents believed that a deep connection between two people, irrespective of the length of the relationship (hours to years), was a key component of optimal sexual union. Some described it as feeling synchronistic during intimate contact and a sense of merger, a "loss of personal boundaries, a distinct loss of ... self-awareness in the sense of separateness from the other". Others characterized it as a powerful energy and a sense of connectivity that kindles between two individuals.
Interestingly, with all this talk of merger and fusion, those who responded most passionately regarding this aspect of sex noted that the more grounded they were in themselves (with a strong sense of self), the more capable they were to let go with another. Additionally, they emphasized the need to set clear boundaries, accept themselves for who they are, and feel respected by their partner.
3. Deep sexual and erotic intimacy
The essence of this category is to imagine the undercurrent of intimacy two people develop long before they actually have Sex . The panel asserted a powerful connection between erotic intimacy and a sense of safety/security in a relationship. This affinity can be derived by a "deep mutual respect, caring, genuine acceptance and admiration". As it relates to this category of intimacy, practically every one who participated in this study expressed the importance of a profound sense of trust between lovers.
The emphasis on communication doesn't stress individuals being technically skilled communicators as much as it underscores people's capacity to truly and freely share themselves. Participants articulated the importance of listening well and paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues. They also reiterated the ability "to recognize (in a sexual capacity), even without being told told, what and when a particular kind of touch elicits a certain response in your partner and another does not." Non-verbal communication was seen as a vital component of transcendent sex. In order to successfully embody this element of sexuality interviewees stressed the responsibility of individuals to be emotionally mature enough to recognize their own needs and desires, in order to be able to convey them to their partners.
5. Authenticity, being genuine, uninhibited, transparency
One woman summed up these qualities as "sex where you can say anything and be anything". Authenticity in a sexual relationship involves individuals being entirely self-expressive, uninhibited and unself-conscious. With the results of this study continually building upon the importance of 'letting go' in relationships, the participants’ data proved another important corollary; being so completely genuine with another human being has an incredibly powerful effect emotionally and sexually. ‘Baring it all’ was considered by many to be liberating and an important component of amazing sex. It also gave permission to their partners to be free to do the same.
Respondents attributed much of their success in coming to such a state of confidence and genuineness, to letting go of restrictive sexual myths and unrealistic expectations as it relates to eroticism.
The feelings of “bliss, peace, awe, ecstasy and soulfulness” were the signature characteristics of extraordinary sex. Some likened the experience to the transcendent feeling reached during meditation (such as found in Tantric Sex), while it reminded others of timelessness and expansiveness. Being able to trust your sexual partner enough to let yourself experience such intensity was seen as the fundamental basis of these factors.
7. Exploration, interpersonal risk-taking, fun
Participants of this study explained that great sex was a vehicle for them to discover themselves. By taking risks and pushing their own sexual boundaries, respondents felt a sense of adventure and personal growth, which in turn fuels further development and discovery. Many of them also agreed on the following, “What's sex without a little fun and laughter?”
8. Vulnerability and surrender
The ability to give oneself over to their partner was a distinguishing factor between regular and amazing sex. Being willing to let go and feel vulnerable were among the characteristics that allowed individuals to achieve this state of interpersonal sexual abandon. There is a way to tell whether you're truly surrendering to sex with your lover; as one interviewee put it, in unexceptional relationships, "There's always some maybe small but detectable barriers, some things held back. In great sex, I think those (for me) disappear".
9. Intense physical sensation and orgasm
There were a range of opinions presented as to the role Orgasms play in great sex. Both men and women agreed that an orgasm was not necessary for a sexual experience to be considered exceptional. However, they noted that orgasms seemed to come naturally anyway when they were having 'great sex'. Some respondents also underscored the satisfaction they derived from a slow build up to pleasure.
10. Lust, desire, chemistry, attraction
A striking conclusion drawn from the results of these interviews was the role that lust and desire played in amazing sex. They made it onto the 'Top Ten' list not because they were valuable in and of themselves, but rather because of their impact when they're mutually experienced. Whether individuals were drawn to one another through lust or attraction, their compelling chemistry influenced their perception of sex positively.
Breaking Sexual Ground
The study found that there was a lack of valid research regarding the nature of great sex, citing that experts in the field of Sexual Health actually have "minimal data on the farther reaches of human sexual potential". It also pointed out that other studies have a tendency to not take into account the broader spectrum of sexual function; they either take a more black and white approach, or focus too attention on treating dysfunction.
Final Thoughts
One of the most significant outcomes of this study was that the actual 'acts' performed during sex were deemed inconsequential when compared to the "mindset and intent of the person or couple engaged in these acts". These findings draw powerful conclusions about sex and healthy functioning, namely that individuals need not look outside of themselves to achieve great sex. Too great a focus on the physical mechanisms of sex will not be as fulfilling overall as the emotional, spiritual and psychological benefits of being present, embodied and vulnerable during sex. Additionally, the study encourages "comfort with self, personal and interpersonal exploration, revelation and acceptance". If an individual can achieve this level of growth, they are more apt to take risks both sexually and psychically, and can discover erotic attributes that they did not even know they possessed!
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When we asked you to tell us the strangest place you've ever had sex, we expected the usual
-- backseats, bathrooms and parents' bedrooms. But we never imagined that one of you would actually have done it in a hot air balloon over Australia! Your answers ranged from barely naughty to brazenly illegal! Our criteria for selecting the top 10 were simple. Shock us. Or, make us jealous. And in case you're wondering, you did -- both.
10. Finally, a reason to go the library "During college I worked at the campus library with my boyfriend. One day he found me re-shelving books, and suggested that we take a break. We went to the top floor, which was a mezzanine with a few chairs and tables, and he made love to me right there in the open. After that, we never did get much work done together."
9. Beats watching a PowerPoint presentation "On the office conference table! I lost an earring and spent weeks discreetly looking for it at every subsequent meeting."
8. To think of all the looting they passed up "A few years ago there was a blackout in my city that lasted hours. I got bored of sitting around my apartment with my boyfriend -- so I grabbed a flashlight and took him to the stairwell. It was dark and stuffy, but I still remember the way the stairwell echoed when we started kissing. We didn't get caught -- but next time I'd bring a candle instead of a flashlight."
7. True story or Red Shoe Diary? "My boyfriend and I were at a fancy hotel restaurant. Our table had a long, white cotton tablecloth. My boyfriend pretended he was picking up a fork from the floor and proceeded to perform oral sex on me. It was very exciting. When the waiter came to take our orders he asked where my date had gone. I couldn't help but laugh when I told the waiter he went to the bathroom and wouldn't be back any time soon!"
6. Driving my way? My boyfriend and I had sex in the Lincoln tunnel going into New Jersey. You're not supposed to switch lanes in a tunnel but I think he couldn't help it! We almost caused an accident that night but I think we both would have died happy."
5. Bar owners, take heed. Especially if you're in Atlanta "My date and I were waiting for a table in a crowded bar at the Cheesecake Factory in Buckhead in Atlanta. People were all around us packed in tight. Nobody seemed to notice when we had a quickie right there in the bar! Hey, if they make you wait two hours to be seated, you have to do something to stay entertained! We definitely worked up an appetite."
4. All in a day's work "In my early years of college I worked at a video store that had an "adult video" room. One night while I was closing up, my boyfriend picked me up at the store for our date. He patiently waited for me while I put videos away. When I headed to go to the adult room with a stack of returned porn -- he followed me back there and we had sex on the floor surrounded by all the X-rated movies. It was very erotic."
3. If doing it your way means doing the Humpty Dance, so be it "'I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom' ... literally!"
2. From boot camp to secret booty. Military life doesn't sound so bad after all "I had sex in the back seat of a Greyhound bus going through Kentucky on my way home from Air Force basic training. I had gone without sex for eight weeks when this really sexy guy from Missouri sat down next to me. There were a lot of people on the bus. But it was worth the risk!"
1. And finally, as always, sin is definitely in "When I was 18, my boyfriend I snuck into a church during Mass, and he used his hands to teach me a thing or two about prayer. I never thought the name of our Lord so many times in my life!"
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This site is devoted to and solely about women. Not just any women but BEAUTIFUL women, hot women, sexy women. Women who are beautiful both in appearance, attitude and spirit. NO political correctness only bold truth. Let's talk about beautiful women, not as sex objects but as cherished treasures deserving of respect and adoration. After all... where would we be without them. It's primarily for men but women are welcome to. Just keep it real. Click here
“that just turned me on, i just jizzed in my pants! Post more! Your bellybutton is hot! Try posting one when your fingering it. That would make me really hard and bust a load.”-MinnhTOOO
2. Regression (aka Adult Babies)
“There's so much more to being an adult-baby than just pooping or peeing and focusing on nappies.”-Lobotomyu
3. Furries
“im a black wolf that is what my fursuit is we should hook up but were a different species wolf and cat don't belong but it would not hurt to date.”-furryone66
4. Crushing
“could you crush some fruits with this heels?”-ATIst87
5. Overeating
“That cake looked good. :)”-jamieA1A
6. Hairy Armpits
“not gonna lie. boner.”-LordHines420
7. Pedal Pushing
“I love those platform flip flops, I would love her to step on my hand and fingers like that crush thenm under her soles”-soccercleatscrush
8. Gut Flopping
“I think this confuses EVERYONE, Is this abuse or is it like.. supposed to be sexy? I feel bad for him.”-Shpants9710
Sharing sexual fantasies can be a great way to keep your relationship passionate and exciting. Rather than just tell your partner your own sexual fantasy, why not encourage her to do the same? Chances are, she has a sexual fantasy she would also like to share. Even if she isn't into your fantasy (or you aren't into hers), you should still be an able to have an open, honest conversation about your sexuality.
You can also try creating a "fantasy suggestion box," in which each of you writes down a sexual fantasy and puts it in a suggestion box in the bedroom. Whenever things get dull, pull out a fantasy from the box and act it out. By accepting and exploring each other's sexual fantasies, you create an atmosphere that can help each grow as a sexual being and help you grow as a couple, too.
Let's face it: no matter how pink, puckered, squeaky clean, and appealing your partner's asshole is, you know what comes out of it. And you're putting your tongue up there. How healthy can that be? It's natural to be concerned about contracting an infection or disease through oral-to-anal contact. For answers about the risks associated with analingus (also called eating ass, rimming, or tossing salad), we went straight to the horse's mouth — the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). STDs and More The intestinal tract is filled with bacteria that are part of the digestive process; these do not pose any health threat. However, eating ass will expose you to any bad germs or infections harbored in your partner's intestinal tract or anal area. The CDC warns that "rimming carries a risk of transmission of STDs including hepatitis A. There is also risk of intestinal parasites, like cryptosporidiosis." In addition, the CDC cautions that "immunocompromised persons are suggested to avoid performing this activity." So if you aren't in good health and have an immune deficiency (say from AIDS or chemotherapy), eating ass could put you at serious risk. Here's a rundown of some of the diseases you could be exposed to when eating ass: • Hepatitis A: Hepatitis A is a virus spread through oral contact with the fecal matter of an infected person. It affects the liver and causes symptoms such as jaundice, fatigue, and nausea. It is not a chronic infection, unlike hepatitis C. Hepatitis A can be prevented with a vaccine given before or shortly after exposure.
• E. coli: This is a bacterial infection spread through oral contact with the fecal matter of an infected person. Its symptoms include diarrhea, vomiting, and intestinal bleeding.
• Intestinal parasites: These are microbial organisms that cause intestinal diseases including cryptosporidiosis, dysentery, and giardiasis. Symptoms include diarrhea, fever, and stomach pain. Again, these are spread through oral contact with the fecal matter of an infected person.
• Bacterial infections: If a person contracts food poisoning, the bacteria that causes it, say salmonella for example, will be shed in their feces and could be transmitted through oral-anal contact. Symptoms include diarrhea and vomiting.
• Other STDs: If the receiving partner has a rectal gonorrhea infection, it could be contracted by the active partner; gonorrhea can infect the mouth and throat. This means that theoretically a person with an oral gonorrhea infection could transmit it to the ass that they're eating. Other STDs that can be transmitted through oral-anal contact include syphilis and herpes, if either partner has an active lesion in their mouth or anal area. HIV Risk? Finally some good news: your chances of being infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, are pretty low while eating ass. The CDC reports that the HIV virus is not found in feces itself. And the amount of HIV that can be present in saliva is too small to infect another person, making mouth-to-ass infection unlikely. According to the CDC, "There would not be a risk of HIV transmission unless blood was also transmitted between partners (such as if the performing partner was infected and had blood in his mouth)." Or if the recipient was bleeding from the ass and the active partner had an open cut or sore in his or her mouth. Playing It Safe You can protect against transmission of diseases by using a barrier during analingus. You can use a latex dental dam, or make a barrier by cutting the end off an unlubricated condom and then slitting it lengthwise. Many people also use plastic wrap; although it hasn't been scientifically tested as a disease barrier, it does prevent the transmission of body fluids. For extra sensation, place a dab of lubricant on the side of the barrier that will go against your partner's ass. Hold the barrier in place firmly, and place your tongue against it to lick and probe their asshole.
The Bottom Line If both you and your partner are healthy, your risk of contracting a disease through analingus is probably pretty low. However, there is always some risk in oral-anal contact, and there are a number of diseases that can be transmitted through this route. You can make the act of eating ass safer by using a barrier between your mouth and your partner's asshole.
One of the most common sexual fantasies for men is a menage a trois or aka threesome fantasy. It's not quite as popular for the woman, however, if she would like to give her man a special night to remember, this is a great tip for her as well.
Now even though this is a very popular fantasy and it's completely normal and healthy to fantasize, it's not one I recommend to try and fulfill in reality.
Couples sometimes experiment with threesomes because they think it will spice things up or improve their relationship. This is rarely the case. Things usually get quite messy and it leaves a great deal of aftermath.
When the couples I consult with share with me that they've engaged in a menage a trois, they usually report that it created more problems in their relationship. Sometimes they may enjoy the physical aspect while the event is occurring, but they discover that afterwards they are struggling with a wellspring of emotions and conflict.
Most couples can't engage in threesomes without negative consequences because emotions obtrude. It usually incites feelings of jealousy, fear, insecurity, distrust, inadequacy as well as disrespect and even loathing of self or partner for some.
In order for a couple to engage in threesome activity with "comfort" and have it not destroy their relationship, the relationship must already be a very strong and stable one. Good communication skills must already be in place before participating in this kind of activity. Each party involved must be extremely mature, self-aware and capable of expressing their needs.
The couple must be able to set boundaries for what each party involved is comfortable with, and what kind of expectations each one has. The couple must be able to discuss feelings such as jealousy and fear openly when they come up. Every detail should be discussed thoroughly and many rules and boundaries need to be set prior to the activity.
There are very few couples that have a relationship strong and stable enough to engage in this kind of activity without negative consequences. If you are fortunate enough to have a strong and stable relationship, then why bother risking it by engaging in a menage a trois. You're much better off concentrating on one another and combating sexual boredom with creativity as a couple.
Bringing a third party into a relationship erodes intimacy and this is the exact opposite of what a couple needs when trying to spice things up. The way to improve a relationship and have more exciting and satisfying sex is to deepen intimacy.
And a great way to deepen intimacy is to explore sexual fantasies as a menage a deux, which brings us to this great little product called the menage a trois for two.
There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger inserted into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may find the insertion of a sex toy or penis very arousing and stimulating. This section contains all the essential guidelines for enjoying anal intercourse.
Getting Started
Some people are not very open to experimentation with this body part, as they are scared that it will cause great amounts of pain, or the whole thought of it is grosses them out. In any event, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don’t try to force them, it will be a horrible experience for them (and ultimately for you) if they are not comfortable with the idea.
If you are trying to convince your partner to explore this world, using something as large as a penis is definitely not the way to get started. You should start by getting them comfortable being touched in the area, then move up to using a finger or two, and then, when ready, finally moving up to intercourse. Please refer to the anal fingering to please women, or prostate stimulation to please men sections to learn more about anal play, plus using anal sex toys and analingus. Until your partner is ready to receive, their anxieties will cause their anal sphincter to tighten, and trying to push through will be extremely painful, so be patient!
Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this type of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your penis or sex toy has been inside the rectum, don't put them inside anywhere else until you have washed them. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection. Make sure to use copious amounts of a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times.
The Largest Misconceptions of Anal Intercourse
Most people believe that anal intercourse hurts and that it is always an uncomfortable experience. This is quite simply false. As with any form of intercourse, the anus, like the vagina, must become used to the activity. Any woman who remembers her first time having sex probably recalls a painful experience. In fact, the first couple of times were probably painful and not that enjoyable. Did they stop having sex? In almost all cases, they didn’t. Anal intercourse falls under the same guidelines for both genders; it takes practice to get accustomed to the activity. Pain is usually a sign that something is being performed incorrectly, not that the act is wrong. In most cases pain is due to a few reasons: the receiver is too tense and tightening, the giver is pushing too hard, there isn’t enough lubricant, or that the penis or toy is still too big to put in (based on current experience levels). Using fingers and smaller toys is the best way to get used to the feeling, and it is advised that you increase size a little at a time. Once you have become comfortable with the idea and concepts you will probably find it very pleasurable.
The 5 Major Guidelines
Always use a lubricant. Unlike the vagina, the small amount of mucus a rectum produces is completely insufficient for anal intercourse. Therefore anal penetration should always be accompanied with an ample supply of lubricant. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible and highly recommended.
Stop immediately if your partner asks you to stop. If your partner is too tense to experiment, all forms of anal penetration will cause a great deal of pain. We are not saying to stop trying completely, just don’t push yourself onto your partner, as this will only result in a bad experience for them, and make them less willing to try again.
Take it slow. When experimenting with anal sex for the first few times, go slow. There is no rush and if you take your time you will probably both enjoy the experience. There should not be a great deal of forcing required. If lubricated properly, an object should slide in somewhat easily. We recommend using your fingers ahead of time to loosen them up first for the first few times.
Sufficient desire alone does not guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Read the other four points.
Always communicate with your partner. As with any sexual activity, communication is essential. Talk about what you want to do, discuss beforehand your desires, tell your partner what you like and don't like while engaging in anal intercourse. Basically, be open about your preferences and feelings, and, be receptive to theirs.
Understanding the Anus and the Rectum
A minority of men and women respond with orgasms to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority through the sheer excitement of being penetrated anally. For men, an orgasm may be experienced because of pressure applied to the prostate gland. They are no doubt responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb. Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies.
The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces, but feces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel movement. Small amounts may remain in the rectum. This is one of the reasons that it is recommended to use condoms during anal intercourse.
The rectum is not straight - see the sexual anatomy diagrams. After the short anal canal that connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body, sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops towards the front of the body again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you lose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become temporarily irretrievable.
If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system (voluntary), which means you can tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the autonomic nervous system (involuntary). The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety. It may cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the person is trying to relax.
There is the risk of sphincter tone (tightness) loss over time due to repeated dilation for insertive intercourse. Stool incontinence (poor control) can occur when anal sphincter tone decreases; this problem has to be surgically corrected if it becomes chronic. This is another very good reason to take things slowly and to never force anal intercourse! Everyone's body has different levels of ability to adapt; if anal intercourse remains painful (or even very uncomfortable) then it is probably best avoided - remember, there are still many other ways to stimulate and enjoy the anal area without full intercourse.
Though it is always wise to practice the safest sex possible, this is especially true with anal intercourse. The lining of the rectum is very thin, and can rip if there is too much stress put on it. By wearing condoms, you can greatly reduce your and your partner’s chances of transmitting most STDs.
Being the Sensually Seductive Woman, What does this mean?
Does it mean to be some long-haired, curvaceous, silhouette pop divalicious woman, with a size 2 waist and a size 14 hip/butt? No. Every woman has a gem of being a sensual and seductive woman that she dream to be no matter what physical figure, cultural backgrounds, level of income, or any other aspect that make each woman different.
Where does sensuality start from? Sensuality is you. We have been given 5 senses by nature, Sight, Smell, Sound, Taste, and of course touch. Start each day by feeling sensual, try things as simple taking in a breath of fresh air in the morning and taking in the sunshine, or watching the raindrops hit your windowsill or snowflakes in winter. Tasting frozen fruits such as grapes, or sweet bing cherries on the tip of the tongue. Listen to soft, sensual jazz. Touch soft petals of roses, and feeling of silk. Things such as these bring your sensual core to life. Feel your senses become alive! Now enough talk you may say, besides feeling sensual within, I want to share my sensuality with my partner. I need ideas!
In my sector of each issue of this newsletter you will find some features that you will enjoy!
Creating a Sensual Scene - Do you have a special something coming up for the two of you? Check out the scene in each issue to set a map for your special night!
Sensual Zodiac - What turns your sign on and off in the sensual world.
Your Sensual Generation - Whether you are in your 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, even 60's we all can be sensual in our unique way.
Are You Ready for your first lesson? Are you excited? Let's get started! Sensual Scene I - Candlelit Indoor Picnic
Ingredients: Blanket, Bowl of Fruit, Sensual Scented Candles (ideas: Lavender, Spring Rain) , 2 Wine Glasses, 1 Bottle of Wine or Sparkling Grape juice, Sensual Music (ideas: Janet Jackson, Love Scene, Warmth, China Love, or Norah Jones, Come Away with Me, The Nearness of You or your favorites.) Baby Oil, Soft Sexy Lingerie for you to wear...
Setup: Try to see if you can send your partner out for a little while to allow enough time to set up its fun when it's a surprise, but if you can't, it's still just as nice. Now you go get ready and start by picking out your lingerie that is appealing to you and your partner like a nice red or black teddy or a babydoll, whatever is comfortable. Try soaking in a milk bath, or sensual bubble bath scents like Plumeria, or Melon, or your tastes. Once you are done bathing, (and skin is smooth and areas groomed) baby lotion or baby oil is a simple but soft sensual scent that is not overbearing. If your hair is long or medium length, try a soft flowing slightly spiral curl look. If you have a short cut, spiked slightly or smooth down may do. Put on your lingerie slowly enjoy how it feels to your skin. Admire your physical sensuality. Never downplay your features, feel good about them. 50% of this sensual scene is you! So bring it! Now, find a nice size soft square blanket and spread it out in an open area such as a living room, (move the cocktail table and take it easy, you need your back for later!) place and light your candles around the area of the room or even around the edge of the blanket (be careful to monitor your movement with the candles around the edges of the blanket, don't set a fire!) Have your fruit nicely arranged in a nice bowl try strawberries, grapes, small slices of watermelon, and your wine glasses and wine arranged in a corner of the blanket, have your music ready and playing in the CD player.
Action: Now your partner has arrived and the look on their face is one of astonishment because this is something new, and sensually creative. Tell your partner to come in and you tell them to undress or better yet you undress them. The both of you kneel down to the blanket and slowly I mean sensually and slowly feed each other the fruit, whether it's with your fingers or with your mouth and enjoy the sound your lips make when softly kissing and breath slowly and deeply. Enjoy the sweetness of the fruit and wine, remember eye contact with your partner and let your senses take over. Once you are done with fruit play, lay your partner on their stomach, pour some baby oil on their back, and warm it in warm water if possible. (Sit the bottle of oil in a bowl of warm water) Massage slowly concentrating on mostly the tight areas; enjoy how the skin feels to your hands. Reciprocate by them returning the favor with a massage on your skin, indulge their touch on your skin, and relish it. If you want to be seductive, pour oil on your body, sensually rub it in as your partner watch, and enjoy their reaction. At this point your foreplay has begun and go with the flow! Enjoy!
Kerry Balley, 24, is regular woman who knows she never wants to have kids. In today's Daily Mail, Kerry reveals that she plans to be sterilized before her upcoming wedding. She writes:
I can't bear the thought of being tied down, a dependable mother and stable. I admire women who do it, but I've come to terms with the fact that it's just not who I am and I would be completely hopeless at it, not to mention resentful. It's not really a decision I've made, I just know.
There is debate about whether women of a certain age, like Kerry, should be denied permanent sterilization. While some argue that healthcare providers should not help a younger woman do something irreversible that she might later regret, others, like the International Planed Parenthood Federation, say that each woman, regardless of age, should be able to decide whether or not she wants children.
Do you think there should be a minimum age requirement for irreversible procedures like sterilization?
You don't have to be a late night comedian like David Letterman or Jimmy Kimmel to have an affair at work. Office romances are so prevalent these days that companies are asking in-office couples to sign "love contracts" to protect themselves and the company from lawsuits should something go wrong.
So how many people are finding love at work? According to a recent survey, 60 percent of employees in America have had an office relationship. That's up from 47 percent in 2003. Do you count among the people who have dipped their pens in the company ink?
ScienceDaily (Jan. 27, 2009) — Men who are very sexually active in their twenties and thirties are more likely to develop prostate cancer, especially if they masturbate frequently, according to a study of more than 800 men.
However the UK research team also found that frequent sexual activity in a man’s forties appears to have little effect and even small levels of activity in a man’s fifties could offer protection from the disease. Most of the differences were attributed to masturbation rather than sexual intercourse.
The study, led by the University of Nottingham, looked at the sexual practices of more than 431 men who had been diagnosed with prostate cancer before the age of 60, together with 409 controls.
Men who took part in the study were asked about all aspects of their sex life from their twenties onwards, including how old they were when they became sexually active, how often they masturbated and had intercourse, how many sexual partners they had had and whether they had had any sexually transmitted diseases.
“We were keen to look at the links between sexual activity and younger men as a lot of prostate cancer studies focus on older men as the disease is more prevalent in men over 50” says lead author Dr Polyxeni Dimitropoulou, who is now at the University of Cambridge.
“Hormones appear to play a key role in prostate cancer and it is very common to treat men with therapy to reduce the hormones thought to stimulate the cancer cells. A man’s sex drive is also regulated by his hormone levels, so this study examined the theory that having a high sex drive affects the risk of prostate cancer.”
The study participants, who were recruited by their family doctors, were asked to fill in a questionnaire about their sexual habits in each decade of their life since their twenties.
All the men with prostate cancer had been diagnosed in their fifties. Most of the men who took part in the study (97%) were white and the majority were currently married (84%) or widowed, separated or divorced (12%).
A number of interesting points came out of the study:
* 59% of the men in both groups said that they had engaged in sexual activity (intercourse or masturbation) 12 times a month or more in their twenties. This fell steadily as they got older, to 48% in their thirties, 28% in their forties and 13% in their fifties. * 39% of the cancer group had had six female partners or more, compared with 31% of the control group. * Men with prostate cancer were more likely to have had a sexually transmitted disease than those without prostate cancer. * More men with prostate cancer fell into the highest frequency groups in each decade when it came to sexual activity (intercourse and masturbation) than men in the control group. 40% of men in the cancer group fell into the highest frequency category in their twenties (20 or more times a month) compared to 32% in the control group. Similar patterns were observed in the men’s thirties and forties. By the fifties it had evened out, with 31% in each group falling into the most frequent category (ten or more times a month). * Men with prostate cancer were also more likely to masturbate frequently than men in the control group, with the greatest difference in the twenties (34% versus 24%) and thirties (41% versus 31%). The differences were less pronounced in their forties (34% versus 28%) and by the fifties the cancer group was slightly lower (25% versus 26%).
“What makes our study stand out from previous research is that we focused on a younger age group than normal and included both intercourse and masturbation at various stages in the participants’ lives,” says Dr Dimitropoulou.
“Overall we found a significant association between prostate cancer and sexual activity in a man’s twenties and between masturbation and prostate cancer in the twenties and thirties. However there was no significant association between sexual activity and prostate cancer in a man’s forties.
“A possible explanation for the protective effect that men in their fifties appear to receive from overall sexual activity, and particularly masturbation, is that the release of accumulated toxins during sexual activity reduces the risk of developing cancer in the prostate area. This theory has, however, not been firmly established and further research is necessary.”
As part of the gig at PlayboyU, we get access to Playmates, Cybergirls and, most recently, Girls of the Big 10. Access does not mean: in-person interviews, party invites or mouth sex. Access does mean: email contact, promotional photos and that's it. No mouth sex. Fuck.
Still, it was pretty cool getting to fire some questions at Selina "Nina" Reyes. She's a grad from the University of Illinois where she studied Media Studies and spent a lot of time being really hot. If you're in the Chicago area, you're likely to run into her dancing the night away. You can see more safe-for-work photos of her here.
1. For the record:
Name: Selina "Nina" Reyes Age: 22 Occupation: College Graduate. I'm on the job search right now, but I have a few jobs/ internships to keep me busy! Location: Chicago
2. You're in the new Girls of the Big 10 edition. Awesome! Tell us about the process. How'd you hear about the opportunity? What was the process like of being selected? How long did the shoot take?
I had previously modeled for a company called Tempe12 in Tempe, Ariz. I was Miss July for their Girls of the Big Ten calendar. Tempe12 contacted me about Playboy holding auditions for their Girls of the Big Ten issue, and I was sooo excited! I've always wanted to pose for Playboy, so I contacted Playboy on my campus and set up an audition.
The process was short and sweet. I filled out some paper work, then did some test shoots with the photographer David Rams -- who made the photo shoot extremely comfortable. Playboy told me right at my practice shoot that they wanted to use me for the issue!
Playboy then asked me about my interests, hobbies, etc. I told them that I enjoyed to kick box as a workout, so they found a martial arts gym with a boxing ring to hold my shoot in! The photo shoot was a lot of fun and only lasted about an hour to an hour and a half.
3. Now that you've been in Playboy, what's the reaction like now around town? Are you like a minor celebrity? More heads turning now?
I've always been a celebrity in town!!!! lol But now that more and more people -- especially guys -- know that I posed for Playboy, they react differently to me. They treat me like a total movie star! And some are even more intimidated to approach me than they were before!
I've always been a head turner, but now, guys are not only turning their heads, they are asking for my autograph! It's so funny!
4. Have any other modeling opportunities come up since you posed for the premiere men's magazine?
As a side job (even before posing for Playboy), I do a lot of promotional modeling. My most recent gig was an ad in the Chicago Scene Magazine for the new A:M energy cocktail.
I think since the issue just hit stands a week ago, it will take a while for more opportunities to come. I'm pretty optimistic about it though!!
5. Hypothetical situation (sort of). You're out a bar. You have like 20 guys approach you throughout the night:
a. Which ones will you let buy you a drink?
I will let guys who can make me laugh buy me a drink. If he can't make me laugh, then I don't want to be around him!
b. How do you let them know you're not interested?
When I'm not interested, I will signal my friends to snatch me away or simply thank him for the drink and walk away!
c. Which one are you going home with?
None!! lol But if I MUST choose, the one with the best sense of humor. A tall, dark,handsome, and intelligent guy with a good sense of humor preferably!! Oh yeah, and he has to know how to dance!!! I am a dance machine at night!! (This is probably IMPOSSIBLE to find!! )
6. Word around campus is that you're training for boxing. True story? What's the story behind that?
I'm not a hardcore boxer at all, but when I work out, I love to kickbox. It helps me release all of my stresses and frustrations!
7. Dream job? Go.
I graduated this year with a degree in Media Studies, so I plan on working at a huge PR firm one day. BUT my dream job is to open my own nightclub in Chicago! Chicago nightlife is amazing, but it has it's gaps! Plus, I think I would be the first woman to own a nightclub in Chicago!
8. It's Saturday night, 10 p.m. What are you doing?
Hmm...10 p.m. is still kind of early for me! But I'm usually getting ready for a girls night out! I've always had a "passion for fashion", so I make sure all of my night outfits are up to par!! lol.
9. You're stuck on a tropical island. You can have two people with you and three objects. Who and what are they?
I would have my best friend Sara and the guy I described in question 5c. As for three objects, I would have my CELL PHONE because I couldn't live without it, an iPod because I love music and dancing, and a boat for when I've just about had it on that island and I need to sail back home!!!
10. Quick hitters:
a. Favorite drink? Grey Goose/ Cranberry b. Favorite sport to watch? It's a tie between baseball and basketball Go SOX!!! c. Favorite sport to play? I LOVE playing hockey!! (not so good at it, but it's so much fun) d. Favorite late-night food? Steak tacos with cilantro, onion, and that green hot sauce :) e. Favorite position? I call it the scissor lol! f. Granny panties or g-string? Boy shorts make my butt look the best, but g-string I guess... g. ESPN or E!? E! I'm a celebrity gossip junkie!! h. Jeans or sweats? My True Religion Jeans i. Your preference: all natural or fake it? I prefer to be all natural as in NO plastic surgery. However, I AM such a girly girl when it comes to getting dolled up for a girls night out! I love my mascara and lip gloss!!
There are several different ways to go about stretching your shoes. Some folks take them to the shoe/leather shop to get them professionally stretched while others purchase wooden shoe stretchers. Or you can be like many of the others who just wear and break into them...painful yes, especially for the gals who have to wear heels.
There are several different ways to go about stretching your shoes. Some folks take them to the shoe/leather shop to get them professionally stretched while others purchase wooden shoe stretchers. Or you can be like many of the others who just wear and break into them...painful yes, especially for the gals who have to wear heels.
But I will give you the most convenient way to stretch your shoes, it works so well that all my shoes are so comfortable!
I have wide feet and my use-to-be narrow shoes did not stand a chance against this awesome method. Tip 1 PVC shoes takes longer to stretch than leather, and sometimes it will shrink back to their original shape, but give it a try, you can make it permanent.
Tip 2Be sure to stretch little by little, especially with leather shoes, if you over stretch them, you cannot shrink them back to their original size. It is easier and safer to stretch them at a smaller rate than large.
Tip 3I do not recommend this on suede, for we all know if water gets on suede it turns it into a darker color. One way to remove sweat/water stains on suede is to get a suede brush or a pencil eraser and brush it off. Works for me EVERY TIME.
Tip 4You can only stretch your shoes bigger NOT SMALLER. Get some plastic bags like so...ziploc, glad bags, whatever floats your boat Fill her up with water and be sure to stuff it in the shoe to test if you have too much or too little. Stuff it in. To make sure you are doing this correctly, the bag should have a snug fit into the shoe. Make sure it is not loose and it fills out the form of the shoe. Now place these bad girls in the freezer, and wait for a few hours. I waited for a day, just to make sure. Take them out...nothing cooler than icy cold shoes. It will be difficult to take the bags out, but they should not damage your shoes at all. If they still feel snug, fill the bag with more water and stuff it in more to make sure it will evenly stretch it out. EASY! DONE DEAL!
Illamasqua - UK make-up brand for your alter ego. Professional night-time make-up from a unique UK company.
Illamasqua is the product of a heady mix of influences. Its roots stem from the dark and illicit 1920s club scene and combines a rich heritage in the manufacture of make-up for film and theatre. It also takes inspiration from members of the ‘alternative scenes’ for whom self-expression is paramount. Alternative cultures have always dared to be dramatic. They have an emotional attachment to making up. It’s an expression of their darker side, a release for their alter ego.
Illamasqua is for the bolder person hiding inside all of us. It is an act and an attitude. A symbol of tolerance. A celebration of idiosyncracies. A confident statement of self-ownership.
I never tried the products of Illamasqua, but the advertisements convinced me. I will let you know my opinion.
Having a webcam model job on our high traffic network can be the highest paying opportunity to work at home doing live webcam modeling. Some of our top webcam performers have made as much as $2,000 in a single day (yes in a day)!!! This is possible because our webcam models can have many paying customers in their camroom at once, each making them money.
